Rock Bottom 2.0: When Quitting Therapy Cost Me Everything (Part 3)

June 2025 will forever be the month I lost the rest of my life.



It started with the official email from HR: “Your position has been eliminated.” They used the nice corporate words, but I knew the truth. I’d become the guy who missed meetings, cried in the restroom, and smelled like last night’s bourbon. They weren’t wrong to let me go.

Two days later my girlfriend came to get the rest of her stuff. She found me on the couch surrounded by Whataburger bags and unopened mail. She cried. I didn’t have any tears left. She left her key on the counter and said, “I hope you find whatever it is you’re looking for.” Door closed. That sound still echoes.

Then my landlord knocked: 30 days to pay back rent or eviction notice. My mom stopped answering my calls after I yelled at her for “not understanding.” Even my dog started sleeping at the neighbor’s house.

The final straw came on June 28. I was driving home from a bar at 1 a.m. (somehow still had my license) when the panic attack hit so hard I had to pull over on Cooper Street. Couldn’t breathe, couldn’t see, convinced I was dying. Called 911 on myself. Sat on the curb while paramedics checked my vitals and asked if I had anyone to call.

I didn’t.

While they loaded me into the ambulance, I kept saying the same thing over and over: “I had a therapist. I had a really good therapist and I ghosted her. I’m so stupid.”

They admitted me for 72-hour observation. Hospital gown, no shoelaces, fluorescent lights, and a social worker who gently asked, “Do you have a plan to stay safe when you leave here?”

I didn’t have a plan for anything.

That night, from a hospital bed in Arlington, I opened my phone for the first time in days. Battery at 3%. I typed the email I’d been drafting in my head for two months:

Subject: I’m the client who disappeared in March

Message: I don’t know if you remember me. I’m so sorry. I thought I didn’t need help anymore and I was wrong. Everything fell apart. I’m getting out of the hospital tomorrow and I have nowhere to go and no one to talk to. Is it too late to come back?

I hit send, turned the phone off, and waited to be ignored forever.

Tomorrow I’ll tell you what happened when I woke up to the reply that changed everything.

Part 4 drops tomorrow: “I Walked Back Into 700 Highlander Blvd Ashamed… They Saved My Chair”

If you’re ghosting your therapist right now, or thinking about canceling “until things get better,” please hear me: things don’t get better until you stop running.

+1 214-519-9473 is still the number. Someone kind is still on the other end. I swear on everything, they will not shame you for coming back.

(See you tomorrow for the part where grace showed up when I deserved it the least.)

Part 2 - https://telegra.ph/I-Ghosted-My-Therapist-and-My-Life-Imploded-Harder-Than-Before-Part-2-11-26

Part 4 - https://medium.com/@therapycentral12/i-walked-back-into-700-highlander-blvd-ashamed-they-saved-my-chair-part-4-9a20db4d4bb6

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